12.10.2012

learning to be flexible.

this is a post i've been wanting to write for a while- but was having a hard time figuring out what to say.  over the course of the last month, our life has been a tumultuous roller coaster, filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows.  and as of right now, there's no end in sight.  however, despite the uncertainty, a. & i are determined to figure out how to hang on and do our best to enjoy the ride.

when we first found out we were moving to california, we were under the impression we'd be living in san diego.  having family and close friends there, made this an exciting change.  about a week before our move, a. received news of a job opening in orange county and everything changed.  we began a new apartment search & job hunt about an hour and a half north.  we shared the news excitedly with family and friends and last week, just as we were ready to put down a deposit, were surprised to learn this position was no longer available until mid-summer.

with both of us currently unemployed, waiting until the position opened up this summer was not an option.  so our orange county plans were put on hold and after thinking it through, we decided once and for all that we needed to focus all our efforts in san diego.  so we did, and so we continue.

december 7th was a.'s last day as an active duty service member.  we knew this day was coming and for over a year & a half, have planned our lives accordingly.  we made plans to move to san diego so we could live near family, actively saved so we'd have a cushion should we both be unemployed (and here we are!), made arrangements to live with family until we could find somewhere promising and promised one another that we'd do our best to stay sane despite all the inevitable changes.  as much as we planned and took the steps we thought necessary, we didn't realize just how flexible we'd have to be.

don't get me wrong, most things here are very good.  we love being so close to our families and old friends.  but it's different...obviously.  our life in syracuse was so simple.  so easy.  we didn't answer to anyone (well, except of course, when it came to work), lived how we wanted, ate how we wanted, spent our evenings & weekends doing whatever we wanted and lived spontaneously, without worry.  looking back, it was like a dream.  now we're adapting to new tastes and habits, new conversations & expectations, new opinions and plenty of differences.  we're adjusting to the job hunt and having to ask for help, learning to rely on our san diego network and re-establishing ourselves in this community.  currently, so much is new.  much of which is good and wonderful & much of which we can't wait to change.  but, we're learning how to be flexible.

i've found over the course of blogging, there's a fine line between talking about a problem & complaining about a problem, the latter of which i'm trying to avoid.  a. & i are taking the steps necessary to change our current situation and are doing our best to embrace everything we've been given.  some days it's easy...some days it's not.  we understand 2013 is going to begin with lots of changes.  and we're okay with that.  but despite all the change and chaos and confusion that is our life right now- we're loving that we get to spend another christmas with one another and have the opportunity to forge a new path together.

so for now, i'm practicing my deep breathing and learning the art of flexibility.  being able to roll with the punches is critical for me- and there are days when it takes a force as strong as a mac truck to remind me of this.  when i catch myself bumming because we don't have a tree to decorate, a job to wake up to, a kitchen to cook in, a house to blast my obnoxious christmas carols- i remember this change is temporary.  and it's going to lead to wonderful things.  2013 is going to bring lots and lots of change, so right now- its up to me to embrace and adapt...because ready or not, it's coming anyway.

thanks for listening.

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